A good explanation of the financial mess we're in...

It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea . It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

The Butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig farmer.

The pig farmer takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel..

The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town prostitute that in these hard times, gave her service on credit.

The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything.

However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism..

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States, Icelandic and UK Governments are doing business today.

Health Update

As many of you know, I have been diagnosed with Atrial Fibrillation. Not a major heart condition as these things go but a “shot across the bows” as they say. I Tweeted today’s blood test as I went through test after test and had a few @parkylondon and Direct Messages asking what it all meant. So here goes.

I have an appointment later this month for a “cardioversion”. To quote Wikipedia:

“To perform synchronized electrical cardioversion two electrode pads are used, each comprising a metallic plate which is faced with a saline based conductive gel. The pads are placed on the chest of the patient, or one is placed on the chest and one on the back. These are connected by cables to a machine which has the combined functions of an ECG display screen and the electrical function of a defibrillator. A synchronizing function (either manually operated or automatic) allows the cardioverter to deliver a reversion shock, by way of the pads, of a selected amount of electric current over a predefined number of milliseconds at the optimal moment in the cardiac cycle which corresponds to the R wave of the QRS complex on the ECG. Timing the shock to the R wave prevents the delivery of the shock during the vulnerable period (or relative refractory period) of the cardiac cycle, which could induce ventricular fibrillation. If the patient is conscious, various drugs are often used to help sedate the patient and make the procedure more tolerable. However, if the patient is haemodynamically unstable or unconscious, the shock is given immediately upon confirmation of the arrhythmia. When synchronized electrical cardioversion is performed as an elective procedure, the shocks can be performed in conjunction with drug therapy until sinus rhythm is attained. After the procedure, the patient is monitored to ensure stability of the sinus rhythm.”

Huh? Using the KISS principle what this means is that I have to have a procedure, under a general anaesthetic which re-boots my heart.

That’s booked for 24^th July but to get to that procedure I need my INR level to stay between 2.5 and 3.5 for the two weeks before the 24^th July. INR is a measure of the clotting-ness of blood. 1.0 is the average human number. The last few weeks results have been promising. Here are the results so far:

Date	INR
3/6/9	1.0
4/6/9	1.0
5/6/9	1.3
8/6/9	2.8
11/6/9	3.3
15/6/9	3.3
22/6/9	3.7
29/6/9	5.1 / 3.9 / 4.3

So, the target is 2.5 to 3.5. I was a little high (3.7) last week but I seem to have overdone something this past week. Anyway, they’ve adjusted the Warfarin medication dose so it should return to normal by next week. I have a couple more weeks to level off before the deadline.

I’ve had some side effects to the medication (warfarin, digoxin, amiodarone) which have necessitated more medication but that seems to be settling down now. I hope to be back to work this week. Fingers crossed.

Health

For those of you not already in the know, I’ve been a bit poorly of late. For the avoidance of doubt, I am alive and well.

However…

I spent two nights in Queen Elizabeths Hospital in Woolwich (QEH) early last week attached to lots of machines that go ping. Let me explain a little.

I had a massive dizzy spell a couple of Wednesdays ago which last about three hours. That Friday I came home from work and went straight to bed. On the Sunday, I had some weird shit going on in my chest which lasted a couple of hours. At that point I decided to go to the Doctor’s if I had another dizzy spell.

I had that on Monday afternoon.

Monday evening I rocked up at the Quack’s and she did some basic tests and sent me packing to the A&E department of QEH. There was a 6 hour wait but I gave them the note, was seen by triage in 10 minutes, had an ECG 10 minutes after that and was in the full blown Resus room within 30 minutes of arriving. They called Janet and she arrived to pick up the car only to see me attached to two drips and an ECG machine. My heart rate was 158bpm, blood pressure was all over the place and I had more drugs thrown at me than I care to remember. At least the Quack didn’t hoick me off to QEH in an ambulance.

I was admitted that evening and spent the next three days attached to various drips and machines until I had an “echo cardiogram” which finally nailed my condition down to “atrial fibrillation”. [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atrial_fibrillation]

I was released last Wednesday and am now back at work. I have boxes of hardcore heart and blood drugs to take so I’ve got a multi-day multi-dose pill box into which I have decanted a weeks worth of pills which should make it a bit easier to remember what to take and when. I have regular appointments with the Anticoagulation Clinic who monitor my INR (International Normalised Ratio - a measure of the ability of the blood to clot) and make sure my blood stays nice and non-sticky. The heart is not pumping properly at the moment (the speed is fine, it’s just not doing it properly) so there is a risk that blood clots could form in the heart as a result of the blood not being completely flushed from the heart on each cycle. I am taking Warfarin (rat poison) to stop the blood from clotting - thus (hopefully) removing that risk.

The next step will be “cardioversion” which is essentially a rebooting of the heart with a jolt of electricity to put it back into normal rhythm. The last thing they want is for the heart to be rebooted and have all the gunge which has built up in the bit that isn’t working properly blasted out into the bloodstream by a working heart. Blood clots in the blood stream are generally considered a bad thing (stroke, pulmonary embolism, deep vein thrombosis being some of the BAD that could happen). This is the reason for taking warfarin - to stop clots from forming. The cardioversion is booked for 24th July assuming my INR is between 2.0 and 3.0 for the two week period beforehand. General anasthetic but in and out in about 6 to 8 hours. The cardioversion should fix it completely but there is a risk it might come back in the future

So until then: no flying, no dramatic increase alcohol intake, no aspirin, no cranberry juice and no cutting myself with carving knives (oops, did that on Sunday, bled like a pig). I was due to go to the GSK in Orlando next week. That’s been binned now.

The thing is I feel fine! On the outside I’m still me. I’m still active and okay. The machines in the hospital were telling a very different story though.

Malevolent voices that despise our freedoms - Philip Pulman

A rather worrisome development since yesterday's Convention on Modern Liberty.

The wonderful article written by CoML Keynote speaker Philip Pullman on The Times website has disappeared. The link they have is giving a 404 error. Here is that link (http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/guest_contributors/article5811412.ece)

[update: 2 March 08 - the article is back, under the original link above - but this posting is staying in case the Government The Times changes its mind]

In an email sent to a friend on the eve of the Convention on Modern Liberty, Mr Pullman said this to a colleague.

—–Original Message—–
From: pullman [mailto:---------------------]
Sent: Fri 2/27/2009 8:43 PM
To: **** **********
Subject: Sinister disappearance
Dear ****,
My article has disappeared from the Times Online website with no word of why or where it’s gone. I’m just letting you know so that when I fail to turn up tomorrow you’ll be able to tell people that the secret police have got me.
Yours
Philip

HERE IS THE ARTICLE:

Malevolent voices that despise our freedoms

Are such things done on Albion’s shore?

The image of this nation that haunts me most powerfully is that of the sleeping giant Albion in William Blake’s prophetic books. Sleep, profound and inveterate slumber: that is the condition of Britain today.

We do not know what is happening to us. In the world outside, great events take place, great figures move and act, great matters unfold, and this nation of Albion murmurs and stirs while malevolent voices whisper in the darkness - the voices of the new laws that are silently strangling the old freedoms the nation still dreams it enjoys.

We are so fast asleep that we don’t know who we are any more. Are we English? Scottish? Welsh? British? More than one of them? One but not another? Are we a Christian nation - after all we have an Established Church - or are we something post-Christian? Are we a secular state? Are we a multifaith state? Are we anything we can all agree on and feel proud of?

The new laws whisper:

You don’t know who you are

You’re mistaken about yourself

We know better than you do what you consist of, what labels apply to you, which facts about you are important and which are worthless

We do not believe you can be trusted to know these things, so we shall know them for you

And if we take against you, we shall remove from your possession the only proof we shall allow to be recognised

The sleeping nation dreams it has the freedom to speak its mind. It fantasises about making tyrants cringe with the bluff bold vigour of its ancient right to express its opinions in the street. This is what the new laws say about that:

Expressing an opinion is a dangerous activity

Whatever your opinions are, we don’t want to hear them

So if you threaten us or our friends with your opinions we shall treat you like the rabble you are

And we do not want to hear you arguing about it

So hold your tongue and forget about protesting

What we want from you is acquiescence

The nation dreams it is a democratic state where the laws were made by freely elected representatives who were answerable to the people. It used to be such a nation once, it dreams, so it must be that nation still. It is a sweet dream.

You are not to be trusted with laws

So we shall put ourselves out of your reach

We shall put ourselves beyond your amendment or abolition

You do not need to argue about any changes we make, or to debate them, or to send your representatives to vote against them

You do not need to hold us to account

You think you will get what you want from an inquiry?

Who do you think you are?

What sort of fools do you think we are?

The nation’s dreams are troubled, sometimes; dim rumours reach our sleeping ears, rumours that all is not well in the administration of justice; but an ancient spell murmurs through our somnolence, and we remember that the courts are bound to seek the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and we turn over and sleep soundly again.

And the new laws whisper:

We do not want to hear you talking about truth

Truth is a friend of yours, not a friend of ours

We have a better friend called hearsay, who is a witness we can always rely on

We do not want to hear you talking about innocence

Innocent means guilty of things not yet done

We do not want to hear you talking about the right to silence

You need to be told what silence means: it means guilt

We do not want to hear you talking about justice

Justice is whatever we want to do to you

And nothing else

Are we conscious of being watched, as we sleep? Are we aware of an ever-open eye at the corner of every street, of a watching presence in the very keyboards we type our messages on? The new laws don’t mind if we are. They don’t think we care about it.

We want to watch you day and night

We think you are abject enough to feel safe when we watch you

We can see you have lost all sense of what is proper to a free people

We can see you have abandoned modesty

Some of our friends have seen to that

They have arranged for you to find modesty contemptible

In a thousand ways they have led you to think that whoever does not want to be watched must have something shameful to hide

We want you to feel that solitude is frightening and unnatural

We want you to feel that being watched is the natural state of things

One of the pleasant fantasies that consoles us in our sleep is that we are a sovereign nation, and safe within our borders. This is what the new laws say about that:

We know who our friends are

And when our friends want to have words with one of you

We shall make it easy for them to take you away to a country where you will learn that you have more fingernails than you need

It will be no use bleating that you know of no offence you have committed under British law

It is for us to know what your offence is

Angering our friends is an offence

It is inconceivable to me that a waking nation in the full consciousness of its freedom would have allowed its government to pass such laws as the Protection from Harassment Act (1997), the Crime and Disorder Act (1998), the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act (2000), the Terrorism Act (2000), the Criminal Justice and Police Act (2001), the Anti-Terrorism, Crime and Security Act (2001), the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Extension Act (2002), the Criminal Justice Act (2003), the Extradition Act (2003), the Anti-Social Behaviour Act (2003), the Domestic Violence, Crime and Victims Act (2004), the Civil Contingencies Act (2004), the Prevention of Terrorism Act (2005), the Inquiries Act (2005), the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act (2005), not to mention a host of pending legislation such as the Identity Cards Bill, the Coroners and Justice Bill, and the Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill.

Inconceivable.

And those laws say:

Sleep, you stinking cowards

Sweating as you dream of rights and freedoms

Freedom is too hard for you

We shall decide what freedom is

Sleep, you vermin

Sleep, you scum.

25 Random Things about me

1 I used to collect sink plugs from trains – I had a collection of around 20 of them at one point.
2 I still get reminded of the wizard prank I pulled at school in 1980 when I had spider on a piece of cotton above the headmasters head in school assembly
3 I enjoy playing bass guitar and wish I still had one.
4 Podcasting is really important to me but I don’t seem to be able to make the time for it
5 International travel used to be fun but now it’s just boring. I still like Eurostar though.
6 I own too many CD’s (DVD’s, LP’s, cassettes and 7” singles) but I can’t get rid of any. It’s a visceral thing.
7 I once turned down the chance to go to a party with Lemmy from Motorhead. On reflection, 25 years later, it was probably the right thing to do.
8 I wish I had had the courage to be more entrepreneurial. I am sure it would have worked out in the end.
9 I still miss Simon Osborne who died nearly 15 years ago from leukaemia, aged 31
10 I can do realistic impressions of a plughole and a Spitfire.
11 I used to make Airfix kits and when I got bored of them would fill them with cotton wool and meths, light them and throw them out of the window
12 I value the friendships I have made through podcasting – Paul Nicholls, Mike O’Hara, Jason Jarrett to name but a very few
13 Listener feedback for my podcast is a real win for me
14 I own too many gadgets – but he who has most toys wins.
15 Photography is becoming an obsession
16 I don’t like prunes, rhubarb, liver or kidneys.
17 I don’t eat too much – just too often.
18 I am allergic to penicillin. Really allergic. Parky + penicillin = reaction to DEATH
19 I support Arsenal Football Club
20 I still beat myself up over missing my youngest son’s birthday last year. He still beats me up too.
21 I used to make prank phone calls to taxi companies, restaurants and builders merchants.
22 I am an atheist. You don’t have to believe in an invisible man and his zombie son to think it’s a good idea to treat others as you would like to be treated. It’s called the Golden Rule. Look it up.
23 I am a liberal – in every sense of the word. This Thing doesn’t apply to Tottenham Hotspur Football Club.
24 I used to sit at the front of the carriage on the DLR and pretend to drive. I still do, if no-one is watching
25 I can be an arrogant shit but I try not to be.